How to "Confront " an Alcoholic
Eight Tips to help your Family
Tip One: How to confront an alcoholic? Be prepared. This is no topic that can't be discussed successfully without preparation.
Tip Two: Get help from others. Those that you want helping you are those people that this individual loves and respects.
Tip Three: Have a definite goal in mind. Have a finite purpose for your confrontation such as getting into rehab today.
Tip Four: Be prepared for the responses. What if they say yes/no/maybe? Have a center picked out and ready to accept them that day.
Tip Five: How to confront an alcoholic? Think like them. Understand them. What is their real problem? I am willing to bet money that alcohol is not their primary problem. What is?
Tip Six: How to confront an alcoholic? Be one step ahead of them. Know what they are going to say and do and have that nipped in the bud before it even takes place.
Tip Seven: Address the real problem. Stay clear of the alcohol topic if possible. For example. If you believe that this individual is suffering from depression because of a death in the past. Use this as the possible reasoning for their drinking. When you look at this as an alcohol problem you will always lose. When you look at this as something bigger like depression, you have a chance at stopping the problem at the source rather than dealing with the symptoms.
Tip Eight: Know your abilities and limits. If this is a fire that you have been fighting for years with a garden hose, ask yourself if it is time to call 911. Hiring a professional interventionist just might be the difference in life or death.
Stop Enabling a Drug Addict
Enabling a drug addict or an alcoholic is a sure fire way to stop them or postpone them from ever getting clean. Many parents and friends that are close to the addict feel that they are helping in some small way. It is this "small" assistance that is keeping them in their current state.
Let's look at an average family. We have mom and dad and the addict and a brother. The addict is 23 years old and lives in his own apartment 15 minutes from the parents. Let's say the addict is about to lose his apartment and his car has been impounded by the police for his latest mishap.
In this situation, the parents often come to the rescue in one fashion or another. And this is certainly not the first time that the family and friends have bailed him out of a trouble spot. Now what do you do? Do you allow him to move back in to the family home? Do you give him food, clothing, bus money or what?
Has doing any of these things in the past ever worked?
If so, how long?
What good came of it?
Did you do these things to help him or to ease your own mind?
Here is where you need to know the behavior of an addict.
Does he lie? Does he manipulate? Does he steal?
Will he say yes to anything so long as it temporarily gets him out of the current jam that he is in?
Once out of the jam, does he bail on his commitment?
These are all common actions of addiction and withdraw.
Giving as much as a jar of peanut butter now and then is enabling. Period. If I am an alcoholic and someone buys me peanut butter, that is $4 that I can now spend on alcohol. If you don't see it this way, you need to look at your situation through a different set of eyes. Often family members and friends don't see enabling for what it is because they are living to close to their own lives.
Step back, get perspective.
React with logic and reason and not emotion.
Certainly you are very emotional about the situation as you should be. What if every firefighter that showed up on seen was crying their eyes out? How effective would they be? They react to a real problem with third party, unbiased views. You should try to do the same. If you are incapable of doing this, you should talk to professionals that can come in and help the family. (Intervention)
So, how to stop enabling a drug addict then becomes more about doing less to help an addict. Unless you are getting them into treatment. Your "help" is hurting them. Period. If you are enabling, stop. Know that you are prolonging as well as supporting the addiction. You stop enabling by stop purchasing things for the addict. No lawyers, no insurance, no food, no rent etc.
Never take away love and support.
"I will always be here to help you, so long as it has to do with you getting the help that you need. However, I will no longer help you to continue to destroy yourself."
Being the most affordable drug and alcohol intervention program / while producing better results than many other services / and offering a guarantee at the same time, what are you waiting for?
Many families get to the point where you are at right now and don't make the call.
Get informed. Ask how we work?
Ask how we can get your loved one to say "yes" when no one else can.
But you have to call. You have to take action.
Move forward with this.
It costs nothing to call. It may cost everything if you don't.
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Six Tips To Help Your Family
Tip One: Form the group that will make up the official intervention team. When talking about intervention strategies. This is crucial. These people are the only people who should be in the room during the intervention itself. Period.
Tip Two: Write your letters. All good alcoholic interventions strategies consist of a written letter. In this letter you will include everything that needs to be said by you to the individual. If it's not in the letter, it shouldn't be said the day of the intervention itself. Period.
Tip three: Consider all that could possibly happen during the intervention itself. Plan for everything. Every reaction. If it could happen, you best have a strategy to handle it.
Tip four: Have a place picked out and ready for this individual to go to tonight. Have the financing or insurance all taken care of ahead of time. Have transportation on standby.
Tip five: Have your ultimatums well prepared. When talking about intervention strategies, this is one of the most overlook aspects of the entire event. Bring the big guns. There is about a 90% chance that you will not have to use them. However, if you find yourself in the middle of a war, you don't want to have brought squirt guns to a battle that needed a tank.
Tip Six: Meet the night before with everyone in the group. This is critical. There needs to be a complete understanding by everyone of what is going to happen tomorrow and who does what if this or that should happen. If you don't have this meeting you can take at least 50% off of your success rate. Plan on a few hours for this " intervention strategies" meeting.
Interventions are not to be handle lightly. The major mistake that many families make when preparing for a substance abuse intervention is just that. They fail to fully prepare.
There are many things that can and do go wrong in an intervention if they are not planned to the smallest detail. My advice to families is start at the beginning and ask yourself all of the "what if" questions that the family can think of and then plan for them to actually take place. What will the family do if this happens or if that happens.
Interventions should be based on love and respect. They should be planned and focused. Each individual should say what they have to say through a written letter that they read to the individual.
Remember your purpose. You are their to tell this individual that you care about them and want to help. You are their to ask them to get treatment today. And if they tell you all no, you should have ultimatums in place.
Interventions nationally are about 90% successful. This is due to the incredible amount of professional work that goes into doing it correctly. You loved one will hopefully not only accept treatment, but go willingly and ready for the challenge